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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone for daily publications, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to discover that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who took the rest room rather too directly, and had to be saved from a deserted Oakwell after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward popped into a local college to use the facilities back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a student told local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled through the school as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager after a brief chat inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he stepped into the wet struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where on earth could we find [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Merely one possibility emerged. The toilet cubicles. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women’s Bigger Cup updates from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Daily Quotation

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina observed us from top to bottom with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“How important is a name? A Dr Seuss verse exists named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|